Iron Horse Helmet: A customer profile

Our research shows the typical Iron Horse Helmets customer is sophisticated, intelligent, and leery of unsolicited flattery. Data indicate the customer enjoys food, including breaded products. A savvy shopper and adequate dancer, particularly at weddings. The customer is able to communicate with most rodents. Our data indicate the customer is indifferent to the word "stagecoach."

Favorite soup is chicken-based in 75 percent of respondents.

According to our notes, the customer is likely to describe beer using terms like "tastes great" or "less filling" and will probably refrain from the abstract or surreal ("This beer sure makes MY pony dance the bobo!").

An Iron Horse Helmet Customer is likely to eat apples from the outside in. The customer is not a robot, but daydreams about becoming one. The customer is right to have those robot aspirations. It's what we all want. Because then we won't hurt any longer.

SOOOOOO happy

We are SOOOOOO happy to be done with the 24/7 holiday music! Our go to radio station started before Thanksgiving. Jesus- we can only listen to Santa Baby 15 times in an 8 hr. work day for so many days before we go bat shit! There are SO many different songs and so many covers. WHY do they have to play the same 20 recordings All Day?

Christmas Pictures

Christmas is over and the customer photos are coming in.  Where is yours? 

GERMAN FLAT MOTORCYCLE HELMET WITH SPIKE

Hey there... so yeah, my worst fears have been realized. I was kicked out of my house this weekend. Jake and his girlfriend are moving in together. He broke the news to me over the weekend. She couldn't "bear to see him in a spiked German novelty helmet", so I'm the one that has to move out. I KNEW she felt threatened by me... I could tell the first time she rode with us. So, I'm looking for a new owner and potential best friend... someone that appreciates what I have to offer and won't drop me just because their girl tells them to. Honestly, I'm a chick magnet... girls love me! Probably why she felt threatened by me, you know? We had some really good times... and I was always there for him on bike night when he would drive home drunk. Guess I'm still in shock... I never dreamed this would happen.

So a little about me... I was separated from my parents when I was very young. My mother was a Chinese factory worker and very highly respected. My father, however, was a common mid manager and their relationship was looked upon as taboo in those days. After the spiked me, I was quickly taken away and placed in a shipping container to America, as to not bring further shame to the kingdom. That's how I came to meet my best friend... he bought me in and we formed a bond... a bond I never thought would break. We partied and rode together... I even went to Rockfest with him one year and crowd-surfed! It was amazing!

Santa Biker Mask

We sell Biker Masks....But I think we all know that they are also ski masks.

Well, Santa knows that they can be used as ski masks....That is why he bought out Santa Ski Mask.  

I am just upset that Santa did not have any gifts in that bag for me. 

Cool Snowmobile Scooter

I did not know that a snowmobile scooter even existed.  Check out what I just found on craigslist...There is no way I am buying this in Alabama.

Free thumbs up!

Here's a free thumbs up for anyone that needs it! (And for the kitty too)

Motorcycle Christmas Sweater

Jana Grice wants to know if we sell Motorcycle Christmas Sweaters.  No

We don't sell motorcycle Christmas sweater yet, but we will be happy to Google them for you.

HJC Helmets Wins

The trial of a civil suit alleging a motorcycle helmet was not equipped with “critical injury prevention technology” ended with a Beaumont jury assigning all the negligence to the plaintiff.

As previously reported, the suit was originally filed Wendall Lynn Hulse and Frances Kay Hulse June 21, 2012, in Jefferson County District Court and names Harley-Davidson, Hongjin Crown Corp. and Cowboy Motorsports as defendants.

Jury selection in the case began Dec. 8. The trial concluded on Dec. 21.

The lawsuit alleges that on Sept. 22, 2011, the plaintiff was injured in a motorcycle crash. The helmet the plaintiff was wearing at the time was purchased at Cowboy Motorsport and manufactured by HJC.

Jurors found there was no defect in the helmet when it left the possession of HJC and that the plaintiff was 100 percent negligent in causing the injury.

The plaintiffs contend that the helmet was defective and that because it was not equipped with critical injury prevention technology, the helmet’s defects were the producing causes of Wendall’s injuries.

The suit alleges the defendants were aware of the helmet’s defects and negligently placed it into the stream of commerce.

All defendants have argued the plaintiffs fail to plead facts to support a design defect claim, court records show.

The plaintiffs were seeking damages for alleged past and future medical expenses, mental anguish, pain, impairment, disfigurement and lost wages.

A Study Finds That Swearing More Is Actually A Sign Of Having A Better Vocabulary

This is not our normal post, but the boss found it extremely important:

The use of swear words and slurs is often associated with rudeness or ignorance. But according to a new study, that could be a load of sh*t: A large knowledge of profanities could actually be associated with a wider fluency with words in general.

One part of the study, published in Language Sciences, gathered 43 participants in their late teens to early twenties and compared their general vocabulary with their knowledge of taboo words.

Firstly, the participants were asked to do a Controlled Oral Word Association Test (COWAT). This assesses the subject’s ability to spontaneously produce words on command. The subject is given one minute to list as many words as possible that start with a certain letter. After this initial COWAT, they were then given another minute to name as many animals as possible and then do the same for “taboo words.”

The results showed that the participants who listed a lot of words in the general fluency tests also tended to be able to name more animals and more “dirty words.” Interestingly, they found a positive relationship between taboo fluency and neurotic and open personality traits, but a negative correlation with agreeableness and conscientiousness.

For your curiosity, “f*ck,” “sh!t” and “bi^ch” were the top three swear words that occurred most frequently in the test. A few of the slurs only occurred once or twice, but there was a total of 400 different swear words generated, which included creative concoctions such as “ass pirate,” “cockass,” and “pissant.”

It is worth noting, however, that the main finding of the small study was confirmation of the “fluency-is-fluency“ hypothesis. This idea basically says that your proficiency with words is universal across all contexts, whether that’s general vocabulary, nouns or profanities. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your vocabulary is wider if you swear more often in everyday life.

SHINIGAMI SKI MASK Customer Review

Skyler just left us this review about our Shinigami Mask: 

This ski mask is the second one I bought next to the Venom one and I'm so pleased with the product. It fits perfectly and stays snug on your face. Doesn't slip or anything. Very warm and easy to breathe. Great buy highly recommend!

Insane Clown Neoprene Face Mask

Remember the movie "It." Think about how funny it will be to introduce a whole new generation of kids to Pennywise the clown. Let me tell you, my nieces really found it funny when I put on this Clown Neoprene Face Mask and hid the in the storm drain.


Yes, they was laughing hysterically when I grabbed their feet as they walked by. They said, "is that you Uncle Mike, in that clown neoprene biker mask?" It was tons of fun and well worth the $10.


The best part is that this Clown Neoprene facemask is waterproof and helps keep you warm. That was very important as I wanted 4 hours for them to walk by the drain.


Motorcycle face mask features full coverage of the face and ears. Stretchy neoprene material is warm and water resistant. Clown patterns are reversible to solid black material. Velcro closure ensures great fit with goggles, with a helmet or without. One size fits most.

We were just called "Weird, confusing, misleading, unfortunate and dishonest!"

Check out this customer email:

Hey guys at Iron Horse helmets,

order # 143745
Jack R****l (I am not sure why the boss does not want me to mention his last name"

Just received the t-shirt that I ordered from you guys.

This t-shirt only has the printing on the front of the shirt. I thought that when I filled out the order form I had marked the box to have the print also on the back of the t-shirt for an additional $2.00?

I don’t know if your records show this or not so I thought I would drop an email and see if there was anything we could do?

Thanks guys for any help.



We responded with: Nope, it looks like you chose the front at checkout. We don't offer two-sided printing.



Now his response: O.K.
But according to my purchase order I still payed (he should have spelled that "PAID")for the extra $2.00 charge that was offered. According to your website the print is on the BACK of the t-shirt.

The t-shirt price on the website is $14.99 The website says the print comes on the back of the T and a $2.00 charge for it to be printed on the front. So it looks like a customer can only have the print either on the front or on the back??? And you guys charge extra to flip the shirt over and print on the front????? OR is the extra charge for the print on the front cause it is already on the back of the T???

I payed ("PAID" again) $16.99 not $14.99 So if the print is only on one side of the t-shirt. What did I pay the extra $2.00 for?????? And why is there a choice in ordering to have the print on both sides of the shirt for an additional $2.00 if it is not available??
After PRICE……..you choose shirt color………then style…….size…..DESIGN PLACEMENT…….and then quantity.
So I guess I am back to you guys charge $2.00 extra to TURN THE SHIRT TO print on the front of the t-shirt????
Nope, looks like only front of shirt was choosen (chosen). We don't offer two sided printing.

Weird, confusing, misleading, unfortunate and dishonest to charge someone to flip over a shirt don’t you think??????


Here we respond again:

We sell thousands of shirts a week and nobody else has ever felt "mislead."

The $2 up change is because we don't have our logo on it when we print on the front and we don't receive the advertising anymore. Shirts are not a big profit center.

The description also says, "I'm the Infidel Allah Warned You About is boldly printed across the front or back of the tee....You can choose at checkout."
The key word in that sentence is "OR" it says "or" not "and."

Had it been both sides it would've said "and."

Your turn...Please explain how the word "or" is Weird, confusing, misleading, unfortunate and dishonest?

Dear reader-
Please side off and let me know if we are correct or incorrect.

Gas Mask Neoprene Face Mask

This is my Gas Mask Neoprene Face Mask. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My Gas Mask Neoprene Face Masks is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

My Gas Mask Neoprene Face Mask, without me, is useless. Without my Gas Mask Neoprene Face Mask, I am useless. I must breath true. I must stay warmer than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must wear my Gas Mask Neoprene Face Mask. I will...

My Gas Mask Neoprene Face Mask and myself know that what counts on a motorcycle is not the size of our engine, the noise of our pipes, or the smoke we make. We know that it is the Neoprene face mask that count.

My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before God, I swear this creed. My Gas Mask Neoprene Face Mask and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our motorcycle. We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy, but peace!

Ski Masks

Where do the Kardashian's buy their ski masks?

From us!

And then they post the image on social media and we snag it. 

Donald Trump T-shirt

Our Lawyer wants a Donald Trump for President T-Shirt as a gag gift.

How do you think we did?

Gladiator Motorcycle Helmet

Some frequently asked questions about your new Iron Horse Motorcycle Helmet:

Is it inappropriate to name my Motorcycle Helmet?

Yes. Next question.

Where can I store my Motorcycle Helmet?

On a head or a top of some kind. Next question.

Is my Motorcycle Helmet edible?

Yes.....Seriously no. Next question.

Can I bathe with my Motorcycle Helmet?

Next question.

My friend/family member/spouse wants to use my Motorcycle Helmet. Should I allow this?

Of course not. Next question.

Do I have to keep it on my head?

If it is not on your head it will explode and melt. Next question.

What else can my Motorcycle Helmet do?

Bringing the entire world to your eyes isn't good enough? Next question.

I am lonely. Can my Motorcycle Helmet help me to not be lonely?

Next question.

What does my Motorcycle Helmet eat?

This FAQ is over.

Japanese Motorcycle Repair Kit Shirt

Not afraid to express yourself? Good, our Tees got attitude and something to say. Make a statement or make 'em laugh with T-shirts from Iron Horse Helmets. Got a great idea for the next Iron Horse Helmet T-shirt, send it to us - we won't give ya nothing for it, but we might use it and will be sure to take all the credit for it.

These tee shirts are available in eight different colors and seven (got that, SEVEN) sizes. Yes, we realize that some of you are no longer a fit and trim size 44 chest, so we're offering our awesome shirts in sizes up to triple XL. Choose your color, choose your size, choose your quantity. Japanese Motorcycle Repair Kit is boldly printed across the front or the front or back of the tee....You can choose at checkout.

Our direct to garment printed biker t-shirts are priced low enough that you could have a fresh one for every day of the every day of the week!

We love hearing from happy customers.

Gentlemen,
I have just received my new helmets from you guys and I am very pleased with them. They are a good fit and look really nice. I just wanted to say thanks for your efforts after the wrong helmets were sent which by the way were the wrong size the latter being my fault. We spoke several times on the phone to get everything sorted out and you guys were champs. I will be ordering more from yall in the future. Once again thank you very much!

James W. Fontenot (s.m.e.q.i.c.m.) Esquire

Flag Face Mask

You're a grand old Vintage Flag Neoprene Face Mask,
You're a high flying Vintage Flag Neoprene Face Mask
And forever in peace may you wave.
You're the emblem of
The land I love.
The home of the free and the brave.
Ev'ry heart beats true
'neath the Vintage Red, White and Blue,
Where there's never a boast or brag.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grand old Vintage Flag Neoprene Face Mask.

You're a grand old Vintage Flag Neoprene Face Mask,
You're a high flying Vintage Flag Neoprene Face Mask
And forever in peace may you wave.
You're the emblem of
The land I love.
The home of the free and the brave.
Ev'ry heart beats true
'neath the Black and white Vintage Red, White and Blue,
Where there's never a boast or brag.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grand old Vintage Flag Neoprene Face Mask.

Holiday shipping time

You asked for it every hour!  Here is our holiday shipping schedule.

Road Rash Face Mask

You don’t need to face plant on the highway to show off your road rash! Just wear our wind-resistant neoprene Road Rash Face Mask and still get the full effect without the pain!

Our facemasks are weatherproof, bugproof, sunproof, windproof and outstanding value from Iron Horse Helmets at just $10 each!

You won’t believe how quickly you’ll get used to riding with the added protection of our face-mask!

Velcro closure
Made of 70% Neoprene and 30% Polyester.
One size fits most with velcroed strap closure.
Face measures 8 inches high, 24 inches wide.
Reversible, piped edges for better fit. Hand washable.

Animal Motorcycle Helmet

I love seeing our motorcycle helmet covers on Reditt.  

The History Behind Helmet Laws in the United States

To get a better idea of motorcycle helmet laws today, it’s a good idea to look back at the history of helmet laws over the last several decades:

Between 1966 and 1975, the majority of states enacted a universal helmet use law. This was in response to a federal requirement. Prior to 1966, there were no legal requirements to wear a helmet while riding your motorcycle.

Between 1976 and 1980, half of the states already repealed or amended their helmet use laws.

Between 1989 and 1994, more states began to re-enact the helmet use law.

Between 1995 and 2001, five states (Florida, Louisiana, Texas, Kentucky, and Arkansas) repealed the law. And by the end of 2001, a total of 20 states had universal helmet laws, with an additional 27 states

implementing laws that applied to some riders, usually below a certain age. Three states still had no helmet law whatsoever.

As you can see, there has been a lot of back and forth throughout the 50 states regarding the helmet law and whether or not it should be in place.

420 Half Neoprene Face Mask

Don't be dumb!

Don't wear this 420 marijuana leaf neoprene face mask and actually carry marijuana in your pocket.
You know you are going to get profiled in this face mask.

Also, we know that our customers love saying the word marijuana, but we want to expand your horizons.






Here are some other names you can call this mask:
weed face mask
marijuana face mask
smoke face mask
ganja face mask
bud face mask
joint face mask
stoned face mask
grass face mask
cannabis face mask
mary jane face mask
dope face mask
stoner face mask
reefer face mask
blunt face mask
herb face mask
dank face mask

By the way...Tom Petty, Willy Nelson & Snoop Dog can get this mask for free if they call us.

Motorcycle Parts

Sometimes we think about expanding our business to include motorcycle parts. But, then we receive messages from pricks like this and remember why we don't.

This "mad guy" dialed the wrong number and was still a prick....Talk about being in the Christmas spirit. 

Canada shipping time

We have received this question about 12 times today, "I was wondering how long this would take to ship to Canada? Would need it before Christmas."

I thought I would answer it and maybe cut down on the emails.

1) You place your order and they package it up and get it ready for pickup by USPS. We ship orders the same day if it is received before a certain time, such as 4pm.

2) USPS picks it up and brings it to the nearest depot to be sorted to correct destinations. This one would end up in the International parcels area, sorted for mail going to Canada. This may take a day.

3) Once sorted, it ends up on some form of transport to head towards Canada. This could go by truck, by train, or by plane depending on the service that was used with USPS. The fastest delivery method (plane) is usually more expensive. Here you are looking at anywhere from 1-3 days.

4) Whatever method is chosen, the parcel will be shipped to a Canada Border Services Agency authorized depot. Here's where it gets interesting. The CBSA is responsible for checking packages to make sure they are legal to enter Canada, and to calculate the amount of duty or taxes must be charged on the item. So your parcel could sit on a shelf in a warehouse (from a few days to a few weeks) until they inspect it and do the calculations.

5) Finally, US Postal Service does NOT deliver in Canada. It is not their responsibility. So they leave the parcel at the border and head home. After the CBSA approves the parcel, Canada Post gets involved. They have an agreement to deliver US mail, just as USPS will deliver US-bound mail from Canada. So Canada Post picks up the parcel, brings it to their depot, gets it sorted, and onto a truck headed to you. That may take a day or two.

My other hog is your wife shirt

This is probably one of our most famous shirts thanks to peopleofwalmart.com....We are so proud!  Not afraid to express yourself? Good, this Tees got attitude and something to say. Make a statement or make 'em laugh with T-shirts from Iron Horse Helmets. Got a great idea for the next Iron Horse Helmet T-shirt, send it to us - we won't give ya nothing for it, but we might use it and will be sure to take all the credit for it.


These tee shirts are available in eight different colors and seven (got that, SEVEN) sizes. Yes, we realize that some of you are no longer a fit and trim size 44 chest, so we're offering our awesome shirts in sizes up to triple XL. Choose your color, choose your size, choose your quantity. My other hog is your wife is boldly printed across the front or back of the tee....You can choose at checkout.

Our direct to garment printed biker t-shirts are priced low enough that you could have a fresh one for every day of the every day of the week!

Would you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass Biker Patch

Did you know that our Would you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass T-shirt is a hot seller?

Did you also know that we are huge capitalists and want to piggyback on the shirts success success?

That is why we have know made our Would you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass biker patch! 

We are not afraid to knock off ourselves.